Wowzers!

The title of this blog is in response to the discussion created by it. I knew it was a hot topic, but have never had as many meaningful discussions surrounding it as the last few days. Thanks for all the conversation here or on Facebook.

I have to share that I have narrowed it down to 3 things that seem to be determining factors regarding the decision to have kids in or out of the worship center/sanctuary. At first I felt apologetic for not taking these things into more consideration, but I can only write about what I know and what I view. But I did try to take a step outside of my opinion and righteousness to examine this deeper (again per discussions, not a published study).

So what are the determining factors?

1. What is being offered for kids.

-It seems that because of size or resources many churches don't offer anything for the kids. This took me by complete surprise because TO ME it there has never been anything but fabulous kids programming offered.

-I also think it is important to put a distinction between Sunday School and Kid's Church. I know the definition might seem relative to the specific church culture, but I feel that there is a world of difference in how it truly plays out and it should be taken into consideration. Sunday School settings tend to focus on a curriculum/program and Kid's Church focuses more on creating a church service that engages the appropriate age group. Because our pre-school-5th grade kids go to Kid's Church, I feel we have a stellar place for them to worship, learn and be in small groups. I also feel that in my experience our church provides great take home tools so that we are building on what they have already learned through conversations and activities all week long. I can understand the desire to take your kids into church with you if your church does not offer kid's church, for them to have that worship experience especially.

Why I am absolutely 100% about sending my kids to Kid-O-Deo is because everything is taught for ONE purpose: To prepare Kid-Os to be life long followers of Jesus. It is as simple as that. No man made rules being taught or denomination curriculum that might not even touch on this most crucial teaching. Only the truth from the Bible. Period.

2. Denomination/This is how I grew up.

-I feel like I can go here (this can of worms) because of what church environment I grew up in and what I experienced. It seems through discussion that denomination can drastically impact this decision. And it impacts it in the way that many denominations don't offer (or value) early childhood kid's programming of any sort...Sunday School or Kid's Church. This makes my heart sink because I feel like this age is drastically underestimated in what they can soak in, learn and apply. I am not sure about your kids, but mine are like sponges always soaking up and learning new information. Huge foundational learning opportunities are being missed entirely. And while the kid's may be experiencing church with their parents, I still struggle to believe they are learning to their fullest potential in a grown-up church environment. I think many parents agree with this, but fall into a this is how I grew up, where my parents go and this is the only thing I know and often don't own their own faith which then makes it less likely they will make decisions (like switch to a church that DOES value kids learning) on what is best for their kids to learn to their fullest potential. Before any undies get bunched, please know I KNOW there are exceptions to this example I laid out (about parents not owning their own faith), but from MY view and having a growing church so full of people from other denominations (in a non-denominational church), this is a story Heath and I have heard over and over and over again.

3. Personality/Needs of the kid.

-This was brought up in several of the discussions happening. This is definitely warranted, but in my experience of calming many MANY Kid-Os, the majority of kids got over it once they realized a few times their parent would be back, they had the opportunity to build relationships with loving volunteers and they got to have FUN while learning about God.

-I remember when Brevin was 18-24 months. He REFUSED to go into his room. It was awful. He would scream, thrash and snot would pour from his nose. I hated these moments as a parent cutting the cord and hearing the screams as I walked away. My heart-ached. Thankfully, in this season there was a volunteer named Jim that reassured us that he would comfort Brevin and see him through to the end of church...Jim would see to it through being silly, giving hugs and creating fun in his classroom. As we got to know Jim for a few weeks, we as the parents decided to get through this season by committing to knowing when Jim volunteered and make sure we came to THAT service. By doing this Brevin screamed less and less as he started to build that relationship with Jim and consistently see that we would come back to get him. He has gone through these common early childhood phases a few more times and it ALWAYS comes back to him building a trusting relationship with a consistent volunteer to get him through.

-My other question surrounding this issue is evaluating if the church is creating a warm and welcoming environment that kids would WANT to go to? Again, we take extra steps in other areas with our kids to make them feel comfortable: pediatricians, dentists, child cares and restaurants. Why is church any different? Many churches that do offer kid's programming are plain and simply not relevant to how kids relate in the year 2010. And while I know we go to a large church that has financial resources, I feel that MORE credit should be given to the fact that the early childhood ministry staff is willing to step out of the normal kid's ministry bubble and get creative in how they teach about God and the Bible and NOT settle for the old school ways.

- Just last week I saw on Twitter a mommy celebrating that she got an email from a teenager at her church that was agreeing to volunteer/serve her kid. Why is this such a big deal? Because her kid was struggling going into his classroom, ants in his pants and has some special needs so she took action. She got creative to put a consistent person with her son (because volunteers in the classroom are not always consistent) so that he could become more and more comfortable with attending kid's programming. WAY TO GO to this mom for thinking outside the box!

There you have it. My own reflections on the many virtual and in-person discussions I have had in response to kids being in or out of church. Keep it coming. I love broadening my own horizons to look at things from a different view. Nothing but Jesus love for you all.