To be honest...

I know that sometimes it seems blogs are misused for only updating on the "doings" of life or even a comparison to those dreaded 4 page Christmas letters (It isn't a Brag, it is a Blog!). The definition is as follows "A frequently updated journal or diary usually, often hosted by a third party." With that being said, blogs include the highs and the lows. I am going to share with you about where my heart is and what I have been wrestling with...

With the question being asked more than not, "So when is the next Vosberg baby coming along?" I/we have been faced with figuring this out. On close to all levels we are ready, we are! There are a few logistics we feel are important to consider, but overall, we are there, we are ready. And then I start to think and analyze. Argh. I start to get pretty anxious thinking about pregnancy and childbirth again...I start diving deeper into the whys? Why does this give me anxiety? This is what I have come up with:

Prior to being a part of the "moms club" I knew a lot about kids and I had a heart for kids, I didn't think of much that could really rock my boat. Therefore I went through my pregnancy and child birth in the know of all that could go wrong, but was overall extremely calm and collected. On many levels this did me good, but now that I am a part of the "moms club" I realize as we go for #2 that I was missing one huge piece before. I was missing out on the component of the heart bursting paralyzing love that I could feel for somebody. This love has developed since the day Brevin was born into a force so strong that sometime it scares me if anything ever tried to get between us. Now that I know this love and the joy that can be brought to our life through children, I have realized how scared I am to go through it all over again because my mind keeps wandering to the "what ifs" so much more than they did the first time round. To be honest having two doesn't freak me out, but getting the 2nd here in one healthy piece does. Having experienced the true miracle of birth, it amazes me what ALL has to go RIGHT. I will need some strong friend support and understanding as we broach #2, A LOT MORE ROOT BEER and Heath's calm and unwavering demeanor. These are things that I lie awake analyzing in my mind over and over. So please pray for my nerves and anxiety, I don't want #2 to come out a nervous ninny because of my anxiety and nervousness.

There you go, my heart and mind on a plate...I mean site. :) I am thankful for my mommy mentors that keep me in check, laughing and encouraged!!