I have done a lot of thinking about this specific topic and really thought about it this last week. I am reaching the same age my own mom was when she lost her mom to Leukimia in 1989. I was 9 at the time and even though I knew and felt my Grandma Wolter's dying was a HUGE loss for me, my mom and our whole family...it hasn't really been until these last few years I realized how young my mom and grandma really were. At the age of 9, I thought 30 and 59 were "old" and that is just what is supposed to happen when people get "old." Now that I am here, I realize this "old" definition is not true. My mom and I did not grow up having the closest of relationships, but through many family events in the last 7 years: my marriage, the loss of hers, parenting (on both sides), her relationship with Brian, listening to God's word together and now Brevin we have grown pretty close. I can't even imagine losing her when my life is just starting. Looking back, I remember the year or so after 1989 being pretty somber, a lot of random tears and confusion. It seemed so weird that she was not as excited about her new baby boy, David. At that tender age, I was ready to get on with kid stuff, be a big sister and couldn't grasp what she was feeling. After spending the entire day with her and Brevin on Monday my mind started traveling down this path again---it truly made my heart ache to think about the grief she must have gone through. It also made me so thankful for who she is in my life, her and Heath's relationship and as Brevin's grandma. In the last 7 years, I have witnessed her step outside her box, try new things and prioritize people in her life with other menial things being left by the wayside. We are some of those people and for that I am thankful! I know death is certain for all of us, but I pray that we have many, many, MANY years of memories to make like these pictures.
Teddy Bear Park
Teddy Bear Park
Silly Faces
Stones for lunch and then Nelson's for ice cream-mmmmm!
2 comments:
What a nice blog post. Had me in tears. You are so right that when we were younger 30 seemed so OLD and now that we are here or past here in my case, you realize that really in a sense life is just beginning! It is a good reminder to cherish it!
Oh Jill, the time I spend with you, Heath and Brevin is cherished always.
How, could I expect you to realize the loss I felt loosing my mom at the such a young age. My mom was 30 when I was born and I was 30 when David was born. I knew their lives had crossed in life and death as David came into this world, such joy and sadness...
As I watch you approach 30 and 50 being right around the corner for me, we will continue this journey together, whatever path it brings. I get so much joy out of watching you and Heath and the awesome parents are, I enjoy the new gift of friendships in my life, the "outside the box" adventures that come my way and appriciating the people in my life more than ever.....I too hope we have many more Mondays to spend together!
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